Broad City, saison 5, épisode 1
Broad City, saison 5, épisode 1
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Tonight I take a break from careerism to listen to a parenting podcast called “The Longest Shortest Time”. The host is interviewing Ina May Gaskin, “the mother of modern midwifery” who wrote the books responsible for all my romantic ideas about natural childbirth.
The host confronts Ina May, telling her that the books made her feel like a failure when her birth didn’t go the way she’d envisioned. “I was under this impression”, she says to Ina, “and maybe it was the wrong impression, that you believed that all women could have, if not a pain-free labor, then at least, like, a relaxed labor ?”
“No”, Ina May says. “No! Not everybody has a great time. Sometimes it’s really rugged, it’s really hard. You’re not alone if you felt like you experienced a lot of pain and you felt like you failed.” When I hear this I put down the bowl I am scrubbing and brace myself on the sink and sob. I’m a little horrified by how much her words affect me and how much I needed to be forgiven by this woman I’ve never met for what I think of as my poor performance.
Then Ina tries to explain. “What if we just told people that it always really, really, really hurts?” she asks, and then she answers herself: “Well, that wouldn’t be very good, because you’d get everybody so frightened.”
Meaghan O’Connell, And Now We Have Everything: On Motherhood Before I Was Ready, 2018
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Taking care of a baby is sort of like driving down the highway”, an old co-worker’s wife told me when I was pregnant as we sat at a picnic table in their upstate backyard. “It’s incredibly boring but you can’t look away”.
I remember thinking, “Oh, but it won’t be like that for me.
Meaghan O’Connell, And Now We Have Everything: On Motherhood Before I Was Ready, 2018
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“Our baby will be a baby only once, and I don’t want to miss out” was the sort of thing I said when I was pregnant, imagining days full of nothing but wonder. It was the sort of message that was ambient on Facebook and parenting blogs. “You’ll never get this time back.” It’s a threat. What was work compared to being face to face with a life unfolding before you? Now I am increasingly convinced that I do want to miss out, at least a little bit. “Your baby will only be a baby once” sounds less like a threat than a small mercy.
Meaghan O’Connell, And Now We Have Everything: On Motherhood Before I Was Ready, 2018
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I recorded all of the baby’s and my bodily functions on my iPhone, something concrete to stand against the great unknown: 9 a.m. breastfeed, left side, 45 minutes / Diaper pee 10 a.m. / Percocet 10:15 / slept 10:20- 11. My record-keeping never cohered into anything meaningful the way I must have wanted it to, but I referred to it constantly anyway. So this is what we are doing. This is how we are going to survive. When the baby cried and Dustin brought him over to me with an expectant look, I would wave my phone in his face. “I just fed him twenty minutes ago!” “Well, he seems hungry now. I don’t know what you want me to do.” The rage I felt at that moment was like nothing I’d never experienced. I was strung out, under siege, depleted.
Meaghan O’Connell, And Now We Have Everything: On Motherhood Before I Was Ready, 2018
Superstore, saison 4, épisode 2
Tribute to le Finistère
Olympus mju Zoom 140 + dm Paradies 200
